32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am naked and annoyed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
