I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
