i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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