So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
