take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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