i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
