I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
