I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
