If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize