That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your penis caused this!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
