my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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