It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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