just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
