I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
