If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
