I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
