..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
