I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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