Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
