You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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