The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
tell me about the fingering
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