Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
