my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
