The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
