I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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