I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
do herpes really smell.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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