the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Oh god it's open bar.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
