nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
