No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
