I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
