Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
