Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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