More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
