I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
