I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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