I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
