Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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