Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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