If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
