...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
