I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
