im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
