Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize