I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
