I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
