Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
