Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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