It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
