He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize