apparently the secret to your success is patron
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
