btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
