You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
