On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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