i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
