I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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