I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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