Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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