I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
