I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
