I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize