Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
