Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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