made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
