The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
