I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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