i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My penis needs a shock collar
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
