I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
