I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
