Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just gargled with NyQuil
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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