i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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