Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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