she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Pants are for mortals
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